I used to think the strongest client relationships were built in person.
Not on a video call. Not across time zones. And certainly not with someone I had never met face to face.
Planning Flights Before Understanding Clients
For the first part of my career, I worked almost entirely in person. I attended three to five trade shows a year because that was where I believed relationships were formed. I built my calendar around them, packed each event with client meetings, and measured success by how full my schedule looked.
When new opportunities came in, my first instinct was not to understand the client or the problem. It was to check travel schedules. When could I get in front of them? When could I be in the same room?
That was how I thought relationships were built: through presence.
Looking back, I would come home from those events and quietly question whether the return matched the effort. The meetings had value. The conversations were good. But the outcome rarely felt proportional to the time, cost, and energy of getting there.
Still, I kept going. Because that is what people did.
The Relationships That Shouldn’t Exist
About ten years ago, my work shifted fully remote. I assumed something important would be lost. How do you build trust without sitting across from someone? How do you create real connection without shared spaces, travel, or the informal moments between meetings?
I expected relationships to feel thinner.
Instead, some of the strongest client relationships I have today are with people I have never met in person. Not once. We have worked together for years, solving complex problems, navigating change, delivering under pressure. In many cases, the relationship feels as strong as anything I built when I was travelling constantly.
That forced me to rethink something I had taken for granted. Clients were never choosing to work with me because I showed up in person. They were choosing to work with me because they trusted me.
And trust was never tied to geography. It was tied to behaviour:
- Did I understand their business?
- Did I listen before responding?
- Did I follow through on what I said I would do?
- Did I show up consistently in a way that made their work easier, not harder?
None of that requires being in the same room.
Nowhere to Hide Behind Presence
If anything, remote work made those behaviours more visible. Without travel and in-person meetings, there is nowhere to hide behind presence. Every interaction has to be intentional. Every conversation has to be useful. Every follow-up matters more, because it is not propped up by physical proximity or hallway check-ins.
One thing surprised me more than anything else: I became better at building relationships when I stopped relying on in-person connection. I listened more carefully. I asked better questions. I spent less time thinking about how I came across and more time understanding what clients actually needed.
Connection does not come from being in the room. It comes from making people feel understood.
That happens in small, ordinary moments:
- Following up on something a client mentioned weeks or months earlier
- Remembering a challenge they shared and asking how it turned out
- Sharing something useful without being asked
- Showing up prepared so conversations move forward instead of repeating themselves
- Checking in simply to stay connected, not to advance an agenda
None of these moments feels significant on its own. Over time, they compound into trust.
Consistency Beats Proximity
In-person meetings still matter. There is real value in sitting together, walking through a client’s environment, or having the conversation that happens outside the structure of a call. But those moments are not where relationships begin. They are one expression of a relationship that has already been built.
After ten years of working remotely, I see client relationships differently. They are not defined by proximity. They are defined by consistency. Clients remember the people who follow through, who listen, who make things easier, who show up the same way every time, regardless of where they are sitting.
I smile now at how often I planned my work around flights before I really understood the client in front of me. Today, I would rather spend that time asking better questions and listening more closely.
Because trust does not start with a handshake. It starts when someone realizes you are paying attention.
And that has never depended on geography.
We just needed remote work to remind us.
